First Heart-to-Heart

Hi There! So this is going to be my first heart-to-heart post. Warning, it will get a bit heavy and depressing!!

Double rainbow from a few days ago… Did you know it means good changes in both physical and emotional? I hope that is true!

These past few years had been tough is an understatement. The whole transitioning from being a graduated student to a “responsible” adult has been a lot more challenging than I ever imagine would be. Throw in a couple of other completely life changing events in the mix…my life has been thrown upside down.

I mean everyone goes through rough times and feels depressed or sad about it to some degree. It is part of life and how we grow from it. I just thought I moved on and really pushed myself in believing that I did. I am a bit of a perfectionist and really do not like people to think I am anything but doing well. This type of thinking I have come to finally realized is not healthy. I kept becoming harder and harder on myself when things did not go as planned. But at the same time I kept pretending everything was going ok. Not having a healthy outlet, I became pretty depressed internally. I would cry myself to sleep, not sleep, not eat..and really just not enjoying the things that usually brings me joy.

This is extremely hard for me to admit…especially being a health care practioner. I treat depression, anxiety and stress on a daily basis!

But the biggest wake up call was when my grandmother fell ill (I call her Mama, which means grandmother in Chinese). She is the most important person in my life. She is the one who raised me while my parents had to make a living. I lived with my Mama my entire life, besides college years. She is now in her 90s, and it is scary whenever anything happens..big or small. So when she had 10/10 level pain and she felt something was moving inside her, I was so scared of what may be the cause. Luckily the worse has passed, and I feel so lucky that I can give her regular treatments to get rid of the pain. But the whole ordeal of having the possibility of losing my Mama right at this moment really push me to re-evaluate my life. Yes I am not where I want to be, but I should take care of myself. During the whole ordeal I realized I couldn’t keep up taking care of her, work and IG. Not being able to balance that really showed how unhealthy I really was; emotionally and physically.

That is one of the main reason why I want to change the direction of this blog. NOT just to help others with similar skin journey as me…but also those who want to become healthier emotionally and physically. I want to create a place where I can share my growth (ups and downs) to encourage others to do the same. I hope you find this helpful. I am sorry if you only followed me for crafts or skincare posts! I will still continue to do so…but with added lifestyle posts!

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